I hate new years resolutions. They can come as tall orders. Most of them fail. I'm already starting to feel the pressure because there is so much to do. Breathe.... Baby Steps.

A lot of what holds us back I think... the root cause, is fear of failure. If we don't try, well, we can't fail right? It's a win, win. Unfortunately, if you can't fail, you also reduce your chances of success. So, to succeed we need to learn to fail, to fail often and fail well.

To fail well to me means failing with grace. Brushing yourself off and saying o.k. It's time to try again no matter how tough it is to start all over. If we don't keep trying, how can we succeed?

It's been so long since I've been in shape, I'm beginning to doubt if it is possible. Can I stick with it? Will I get into shape again? Can I make another nationals? Do I want to go to nationals? Will I ever be fast again? Will the weight come off? Can I get addicted to exercise again as my doctor recommends me to? Will the pool I'm swimming at become less chaotic?

I DON'T KNOW.

That's the truth. So Breathe.... Baby Steps.... in the water 3x a week. We start with that. We don't time ourselves. We try to get back into interval sets. When the arm goes numb we ease off. We take it slow, don't want tendinitis. We are not young anymore. Sciatica pain runs down my legs. My toes are numb in my right foot. The knee has pain. I push through gently building strength. It takes time. But I stay at it. Breathe..... you can do it. Just 2500 this week, don't go up to 3,000 yet. Slowly inch your way up. You'll get there again. Don't worry.