Inner City Swimmer

 Today I'm feeling really good. Yesterday, July 29th I swam the 5K at Larchmont Yacht Club for Swim Across America. The day before the event I decided to ask people directly for donations across Linked-In and Facebook. I was touched by donations I saw come in came after my swim the next day. I really didn't know how the day would go, because last year the swim was extremely hard for me. Gay's death was still something I was struggling with at that point and COVID left me feeling like total crap. I also had worn a one piece suit that acted as a net for what felt like a million sea lice that were stinging me the whole 2k swim. It was a difficult day.  I thought to myself, "How could you be this stupid?" I know sea lice love ocean bays and I could have worn a two-piece and used anti itch lotion. Really, what was I thinking? This year I wised up and I wore a two-piece but only covered the bottom half with the anti-itch lotion. I got hit slightly this year, but all and...

 The last time I wrote in this blog was November 28, 2021. I had no comprehension how deeply Gay Silverman's death would impact me and how it would take well over a year to understand why I had so much trouble dealing with her death. The funeral was extremely surreal for me. It was interesting to see all the different people in her life come together. If you were part of the swimming world you could easily forget that Gay had more friends and family outside of it. I left with a more comprehensive picture of her life. After the service, it started to snow. It felt extremely magical, even the rabbi said so. When I arrived at the cemetery hundreds of crows flew out of the trees. When this occurred it felt like unique type of magic was leaving the earth. Gay was jewish and I had never attended a jewish funeral before. It seemed similar in many ways to what I was use to except when we reached the cemetery. I was honored to participate in the tradition of shoveling dirt on the casket, al...

Yesterday, November 27th, I learned that Gay Silverman had passed away the previous day. I just want you to know........You are never really ready to lose a coach. I ran out of time with Gay.  Gay Silverman was the coach of the Silver Streaks which was the age group team that I joined back in the 80's for only 9 months. Our time was short in the 80's but I learned more than I knew at the time in those 9 months. Later in life, around 2004 all the learnings from Allen and Gay Silverman began to become unlocked as I slowly got back into swimming through a masters swim program in Yonkers.  After getting a taste of what I knew might be possible as I was still in my early 30's I reached out to Gay in 2005 and wrote her the following email: Friday, December 23, 2005 10:31 AM Subject:  Silver Streaks Alumni Dear Gay, I don't know if you remember me but I swam for your team probably back in 1986-ish. I was watching the meet that was at Apex last weekend. I saw the Streak...

I started weight watchers weeks ago expecting this journey to be easy. Well it's not. On April 28th of this year, I was back in the water swimming with Yonkers Masters. I had the fantasy that all the weight would magically peel off without having to do weight watchers, that didn't happen. Then after going on weight watchers the magic didn't start at that point either. Actually there is no "magic" with any plan you join. You need the right mindset and the self-discipline to see it through. COVID was not kind to my body. Actually that's false. I was not kind to my body. I let everything go, food became my comfort, then alarm bells went off and I got back to swimming in June 2020 to begin to lose the weight. Then I got kicked out of my apartment, which was great for my weight problem. I had so much anxiety I couldn't eat. I started losing. On November 1st of that year I moved into my parents house and I put everything I had lost right back on.  I can't bl...

 Yesterday I swam Grimaldo's Mile in Coney Island. I haven't swam the race in years and it was the first event I jumped on for 2021. I haven't been in competition since 2019, my body hasn't held an average heart rate of 135 bmp for a half hour in a long time. Before the race a swimmer said to me,"How fast are you going to go? I'm going to do a 31. What are you going to do?" I simply replied. I don't know.  Honestly, I didn't care. Laughing with friends later we joked about our "Low Expectations", which meant;  finishing the race, swimming straight and making sure you had time to run out to the car and pay the meter.  In all seriousness, I HATE with a PASSION talking about times before a race. I know what I'm going to be able to do, and I certainly don't want to discuss it with you. I don't want to play that mental game. I don't want to be ranked even before I start. I want to swim for the joy of swimming. In masters we hav...

 June has been a devastating month for me. I lost my cousin. I'm gutted. It's made me really look closely at my life and get a different perspective on how dear our moments are with the people that surround us here on this planet. COVID prevented so many people from getting proper medical care. I no longer have a doctor because of the insurance wars. My circle has been greatly effected by Cancer. My father has been battling Prostate Cancer since 2009. Last year we lost the head of Westchester Masters to Cancer. This year, I'm raising money for "Team Jason" to help fund cancer research. This research is so imperative for our long term survival. It's what has kept my father alive all these years. I'm struggling not to give in to the sadness and putting my energies this summer to raising money for this very important cause. I was going to kick off my fundraising on my vacation but with the passing of my cousin I stayed quiet as I swam 1.88 miles around the l...