I wanted to write this re-cap post before the New Year came to pass but I was totally exhausted. I needed a break. 2020 was "A YEAR". It was a tornado year fraught with huge changes. I was lucky enough to have neither my family or myself  directly impacted by COVID. I was able to retain my job. I thank God for this everyday. However, where I lived, well, after 14 years in the same residence I had to leave by Oct 31.

Having my rent raised during COVID came as a shock to me. For 12 years my rent was stable. I was living in a situation where I had asked for a lease multiple times but could never get one. After time passed, I was told, "You are my friend" and "You are like part of the family". After my rent was raised this year however,  3 months later I was asked to leave by Oct 31. I was able to negotiate my rent back to the old one until my last day but it was certainly strange to receive a certified letter by mail telling you that you had to be out by Oct 31. 

I guess, I was truly never "like part of the family". When my doorbell was removed this year I should have seen that as a strong indicator of what was to come. I never imagined my entire home could be so easily be disposed of.  I was so fortunate to be able to buy a home this year and finally be able to move somewhere where sidewalks would be shoveled, flowers wouldn't be constantly destroyed and I could lead the charge in getting things repaired. It was truly a blessing in disguise but the situation was highly stressful and I was plagued with anxiety the entire time. 

Moving is not "my thing". I love to travel all over the country BUT I do not like to move. I have lived in the same zip code for my entire life. Having to clean out 14 years of possessions in 4 months almost broke me. If it wasn't for my mother coming down and helping get rid of most of it I don't know what would have happened. Mentally I truly couldn't do it on my own. It was just to difficult. 

Though out my life I've used art as a tool for therapy. When I started working professionally because I was doing it day in and day out, swimming eventually became my salvation to managing stress. During this COVID time, from June - Sept, I swam at Sprain Ridge and Rye Ocean Park.  Thank God for these bodies of water. They helped me so much. I had a friend reach out to me and tell me about Rye. I'll be forever grateful to them as it helped me find mental relief during this period. When I was told I had to leave my home I decided within one week, I was never renting again. I never, ever wanted to experience what I had gone through during the 12 years I lived in my old apartment. I wanted to know where ever I went I would be deciding when I would be leaving. I also wanted a parking space, a doorbell, things fixed on time and if I planted something I didn't want it rearranged and/ or destroyed.  I wanted respect and hopefully owning my own home will bring that along with the pride of knowing that I am a homeowner in the community.

Between my career, trying to clear out 14 years of accumulations, and buying a new place, at times I thought I would break. The kicker was that my surroundings were effected by COVID which in turn effected me but due to the language of all the COVID relief I was eligible for none. That's right, if you have a job, you CAN get kicked out of your place during these COVID times. Your rent can be raised.  

And rents, oh they were raised. In Westchester if you want to rent a 1 bedroom now they are 1500-1800.00 a month. Everyone fled NYC. This angered me so much. I don't know how many times over the years when I would be in NYC, transplant snots would mutter "oh you're from upstate". Really? But during COVID "upstate, Yonkers" became a haven for all those that didn't want to be in Manhattan anymore. For all those that stayed  (not including those that lost their homes), I applaud you. There is something to be said about staying strong during times of adversity and backing your existing community.

So, when things are stressful, we can fall into bad habits.  When COVID first hit and we were sent home from work, and I knew it was bad. I just didn't know how bad it was. I was currently struggling with a depression. The previous year had been exhausting and I was suffering from burnout. December 2019, a depression hit me and it lasted though to September 2020. COVID, when there was little known about it, was a scary thing. We didn't know how it was transmitted and there was tons of mis-information. Trust was destroyed in this country and people took it upon themselves to determine what was fact or fiction. Tuning into Gov. Cuomo during this time helped keep me sane. I'll never forget his daily briefings. They helped get information out and helped you keep faith during this harrowing time. 

I had also I decided to live on a lot of takeout. In a total funk, cooking seems like a gargantuan effort. Margarita Mondays and Wine Wednesdays became my go-to a Popojito. I was doing a good thing right? Supporting our local businesses? I was also supporting a weight gain so tremendous, that even when I started to swim in June all the weight did not come off. 

I was able to close on a new place in November and was fortunate to be able to live with my parents from Oct 31 until the current time. However at my age living with your parents comes with challenges. At their age they are set in their ways. It is their home. So I do my best to work around things. However, when I first moved in, the stress of it all, led too, to a lot of eating. 

My dad has cancer. He has had stage 4 prostate cancer for 4 years. Because I'm living in the parental bubble I've decided to lean towards the side of extreme caution and decided not swim while I live in their home because all swimming has gone indoors for the winter. Being inside, can be safe, but it's not truly safe. I can't risk putting their health in jeopardy. I wouldn't be able to live with myself, if I was the cause of bringing COVID into this house. 

When I first moved in I was severely injured because I stupidly decided to carry the majority of my book boxes down the stairs. I tried to help with yard work but had to bow out. Without swimming, I'm in extreme pain. My spine needs core strengthening to stay stable. Everything fell apart. I consulted my doctor during a tell-a-health call. With so many things going on in my life: work, the closing, the renovations etc. my health took a back seat and I was only able to get the inflammation down. 

I've worked at the same company for 4 years now and over the years I've been saving my points. I qualified for an apple watch this year. Initially I had planned on having this watch on my wrist for open water swims only. I initially saw the apple watch as a type of cult. I had heard people talking about "closing the rings" and I wanted no part of it. I thought it was insane to have something on your wrist that is constantly reminding you of what you need to do. I determined it wasn't for me and I would just use it to track my swimming. 

When I hooked up my apple watch... it's like it melded to my wrist and I never want to take it off. I had a totally different reaction then expected and it has been my salvation. I immediately saw that I had lost all fitness levels, I never physically stand and in all actuality I was laying around like a blob.

Since I have gotten the watch I started to get motivated to "close the rings" which involves standing during the day, moving and exercising. The watch also reminds you to breathe and counts the seconds every-time you wash your hands. it's that silent companion that jumps in when you need it most, guiding you in the most helpful ways. I started going on walks, standing more, and getting my movement in. 

I reached out to my friends on Facebook and found someone else that has one. Now we challenge each other every day. The apple watch became my new pool and is the lifeline I needed. Not having a pool is horrible. Being in the pool, swimming actually forms part of my identity. It helps form your social life, keeps you fit and relaxes you all at the same time. Losing this resource has been horrible during this incredibly stressful time of COVID. If you are in need of some virtual coaching check out apple's page on "close your rings" I think the investment in the watch is well worth it and probably will guide the safest exercise you can do during this time.

 I don't need a pool to survive. I've been out of the pool for long stretches of time before. During times of adversity we need to embrace change. I now have taken up walking until I can get back into a pool. 

Please continue to stay strong during this COVID time. It's important that we don't lose hope. I like to frame this time as a unique opportunity to stay focused and plan for when our freedom from this plague is truly gone.

 I'm so sorry the blog posts have not been frequent. All the materials I needed to help remember and continue my "swim story" were packed away after the move and hopefully this is something that I can continue writing later in this new year. Currently I've written 5 chapters. So for those of you that haven't read it yet, here is the start of my story:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

I wish you all good health, peace and prosperity for the new year 2021! It's year of the metal OX. I believe it will be a hard working year but if we put the planning and effort in we will have something truly special to benefit from for 2022.

And for those of you that are part of Westchester Masters or even "friends of" please join us for the first Friday of every month for our happy hour virtual swim pod Zoom call. We are a supportive bunch and are there for you if you are not currently able to be in a swim pod.